Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Self-Imposed Time Out

After this giveaway, I will be taking about a week off from blogging, the internet, and my computer in general. I know I've been in and out, and I guess it's because I am kind of ambivalent about the blogging world right now. I want to write, I want to share, but the games get so exhausting and overwhelming that it stops being fun. The frustrating part is that I have SO MUCH to write about and I am too busy to do it! I need to be able to clear my plate a little before I can take the time to do any quality writing. (Which sucks, because I am so excited to have new readers!) I keep saying, "One day, this will be running like a legitimate blog. One day..." But I can't keep up!

I also live with anxiety and depression and my symptoms have been worse since our big move. I feel the constant pressure to be a good mom and wife and I feel like I can't do everything I need to do, which makes me feel inadequate and worthless (as long as we're being honest...) So, what happens instead is I pretend my daily responsibilities don't exist and drown myself in stupid tasks (like playing Candy Crush or watching Season 2 of The Walking Dead for the fourth time.) Of course, that's counter-productive and makes everything worse. The dishes and laundry won't do themselves, and obviously my daughter needs me. I need to dig back in my memory to my early therapy sessions and do what I know will HELP:

1. Make lists. My "wiring" makes it difficult for me to prioritize, so in my head, getting the mail is just as important as showering and checking Facebook is right up there with showering. The only way for me to fix this is to physically write out a list and put things in order of importance from 1 to whatever. This forces me to see what needs to be done FIRST and what can wait. If I don't do this, I get overwhelmed by EVERYTHING that needs to be done and end up doing nothing.

2. Work out. It's tough to get motivated when you are dealing with even a small bout of depression, but medical studies have shown that exercise is proven to help with depression and anxiety. There are both physiological (releasing endorphins, lowering blood pressure) and psychological (gaining confidence, feeling healthier) benefits of exercise.

3. Eat cleaner and healthier foods. I haven't even looked at a Paleo recipe in MONTHS. When I start getting depressed, I tend to eat foods that appease my need for instant gratification. For me, that's anything sweet. A box of cherry cordials from Valentine's Day, cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, etc. And because of my addiction to sugar, it just snowballs out of control from there. To the point where I NEED to eat at least one sugary food a day or I get a miserable headache.
4. Drink more water. In addition to cleaning up my eating habits, I need to drink more water. This will help me feel full when I am only craving sweets and not actually hungry as well as fighting off fatigue and those nasty headaches.

5. Meditate and play with my baby. Instead of turning to TV and games, I need to work on my breathing (which will help keep my anxiety in check) and PLAY. Nothing in the world makes me happier than hearing my little girl laugh. Getting on the floor and making silly faces, or making a fool out of myself by singing and dancing for her, is truly the best therapy for me right now. So instead of wasting my days on time suckers, I will live in the REAL world for a while. The internet can wait.

Here is what I am working on right now:
Reviewing products for Mami's and Papi's (my awesome local cloth diaper store/baby boutique.)
Becoming certified as an Elite Personal Trainer with ISSA.
Custom orders for my Etsy store.
Organizing and keeping my home.
Watching my baby girl grow up.

So, there is the top of my "Priorities" list. I love to write, but the blog will have to wait until I have a few things figured out. Thank you for understanding! <3


  1. Kiersten, I think it's a great idea to take a break from the Internet. What you wrote, I could have written about myself as far as the prioritizing goes.. it's crazy, I can spend hours online thinking I'm doing something important, when I'm really neglecting what NEEDS to be done. And Saturday mornings are the worst for me.. I have time to do things, but don't know in which order to do them, and if I don't get a ton of stuff done by noon, I feel like the whole entire day is a waste. Good luck with your "fast" of the internet, and I hope you feel better soon! And I know exactly how it is when people refute things you say about yourself, but I'll say it anyway: you are not inadequate and worthless!!

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. :) It's nice to know someone else understands what it's like!